1. Always check the toaster for objects before you toast anything.
2. Don't bother putting a new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser, L will only unroll it as soon as he sees it.
3. Only feed L vegetables that are frozen. Soft and warm veggies will be immediately thrown on the floor.
4. Do not open the fridge when L is within 5 yards, unless you can 'throw in and shut' in under 2 seconds.
5. Kitchen chairs must remain facing away from the table to avoid toddlers falling off of said tables.
6. You have exactly the time it takes L to drink 4 ounces worth of milk to change and dress him for bed and throw him in. When the bottle is gone, time is up and you lose.
7. Do not eat anything between the hours of 6am and 7pm that you do not want to share atleast half of. Eat special treats as fast as you can. Once the frosted flakes are in view, game over.
8. Do not touch the computer unless you are willing to let L sit on your lap and watch Elmo at the same time.
9. Use the following words cautiously as they will elicit positive results, but you must follow through with your offer: 'bottle', 'brush your teeth', 'orange', and 'go get in the car'.