If I Had a Hammer

 Remember Lincoln and his toothbrush?  Parls has likewise found a favorite household object that is rarely found out of his grip.

 Very well!  I wouldn't mind so much if I wasn't the one getting smacked in the face all the time with it.  Speaking of Parley-inflicted-injuries, before I realized what he was doing, he gave me the biggest baby hickey on my face!  It's huge!  I look like I was slugged across the jaw!